Artwork Title: My Mirror
Artist: Stanislav Karachev
Transcript
AUDIENCE: Let’s go, Stan!
AUDIENCE: Let’s go, Stanley!
AUDIENCE: Let’s go.
STANLEY (VOICEOVER): A mirror. So simple yet so complex. Let us take a few moments and reflect. Who are you, really? What do you wish for freely? Do you feel truly understood? What is your mood? Are you happy or sad? Perhaps hopeful or mad?
Do you find any life situations ironic? Like, is anything really platonic? Is time our friend or thief? Does your age leave you in disbelief? I check in and ask again. Do you know who you are? Who supports you up close versus from afar?
Are you aware of your biggest flaws? What do you wish to pause? What are your morals and ethics? Are you comfortable in your skin and genetics? Do you have confidence in your voice and speech? What happens if you squeal or screech?
Are you following your passions? Or do you lose track of life because of distractions? How are you building yourself? Do you only focus on monetary wealth? What does self-love mean to you? Do these questions lead you to something true or some sort of clue?
Reflect. Looking into your own eyes in a mirror can be scary, but the blurriness may evolve to clarity. You may face yourself in tears or a smile. Either way, you’re growing in that moment of time. Back to the mirror for a sec. Tell me, do you choose to see what it may truly reflect? Or are you simply lying, looking to deflect?
And so, I face this mirror and reflect on this line in this moment of mine. Turn pain into art. I step forward in this one vulnerable time to show you all my mirror, in this frame of mind.
[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]
[PHORA, “FAKE SMILES”]
AUDIENCE: Let’s go.
AUDIENCE: Let’s go, Stan.
(SINGING) It’s like the more I try, the less I feel
In desperate need of something real
Why, lately, I’ve been the same
And why I try so hard to hide this pain
I search, but I can never find
Can’t seem to get my past behind
‘Cause all the ones I hope would stay
Are all the ones that fade away
Truth is I think about you often
I miss your voice, I miss your smile that I used to get lost in
I know you know I had this thing for you
I never lost it
I think I just lost myself in the midst of the nonsense
9 times out of 10, I’d close my eyes and dream about you
I don’t know what it was, but you just had this thing about you
Lately, we’ve been distant
See, I just can’t be without you
And my soul got so attached to yours
I can’t be me without you
But we hate ourselves because we run from the people we love
And we all hold on to the past ’cause we miss what it was
Don’t want to feel, so we try numbing the pain with these drugs
Living in hell ’cause we lost faith in the place up above
And my anxiety is breaking me, it kills me
I’m living in a world so fake, I lost touch of the real me
Had to take a look back just to ask me if I’m still me
Would I still stand for this if they wanted to kill me
I can’t take it no more, I just can’t take it no more
I can’t smile like I’m OK, I just can’t fake it no more
I can’t act like I’ve been happy and complacent no more
‘Cause every time I try to change it, it’s the same as before
My karma’s coming, my karma’s coming
It’s weighing in
I’m drinking till all my feelings just fade away again
And mama, she always told me this ain’t no way to live
But when you feel what I’m feeling, that’s just the way it is
I’m trying not to break down, but I just can’t hide this pain
Saw myself in the mirror, and I’m just not the same
But who’s to blame, I guess we all change
We hurt the ones we love because of our pain, fuck
It’s like, the more I try, the less I feel
In desperate need of something real
Why, lately I ain’t been the same
And why I try so hard to hide this pain
I search, but I can never find
Can’t seem to leave my past behind
‘Cause all the ones I hope to stay are all the ones that fade away
Are all the ones that fade away
Are all the ones that fade away
[CHEERING]
AUDIENCE: Let’s go.
[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]
Video Description
Text: The Collage.
My Mirror.
He holds a mirror.
The room darkens.
He moves the mirror.
He walks around the stage.
He walks to the center of the stage.
He raises a fist.
He walks away with the tall, skinny mirror in hand as the audience applaud.
He sets the mirror aside, then crouches in the center of the stage.
He slowly rises up to his feet.
He claws his chest.
He extends arms.
He spreads his arms, gestures towards his face, then steps. He pops his chest, then extends a fist out to his side. He stomps a leg, then claws his hand back towards his face.
He walks toward the crowd.
He hangs his head as he kneels.
He traces his fingertips across the smooth wooden stage floor.
He pretends to toss something in the air, then swims his arm up to catch it as he stands up. He manipulates the imaginary ball, then presses it into his chest. He swirls his arms and chest around the imaginary ball, then raises one elbow at a time as he bends forward.
He drops down to his knees, then plants one fist on the floor.
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